So, I wrote something for a friend, and lo, for he has published it on his superior Fight! Fight! Fight! blog, designed to pitch the greatest against the great in increasingly unlikely scenario.
When I say 'wrote' I mostly mean that I provided nerdy canonical facts and Andrew made them be actually funny, but here, it's worth a read.
Fight! Fight! Fight! 11
(You don't get to find out who is fighting whom except by clicking the link. Yeah, I'm teasing you. Hint, though: it's topical!)
They told us university would bring fabulous jobs, great income, and a more rounded mind. That was a bit of a fib, wasn't it?
Monday, 17 December 2012
Monday, 10 December 2012
New job
When I left university,
I assumed that I would have a job in a busy city, striding through
crowds wearing a business suit and clutching a Starbucks on the way
to an important meeting type thing. This rather failed to
materialise. My first job post university was working in a
trendy-yet-casual clothes shop so I used to sit amongst the commuters
in jeans and a hoodie, and nip for a MacDonalds breakfast when I was
trying to bribe some of the younger members of staff. (Management tip
of the day for you, there.)
Anyway. Now, to my
amazement, I am in fact battling through business crowds whilst
wearing a smart suit. I'm not holding Starbucks, because I dislike
coffee and Starbucks is just as evil as we always suspected. My first
day, as I proudly strode through (and by 'strode' I mean battled in a
sort of nervous, 'oh god I'm so short' way) the crowd, I felt sort of
proud.
Then I realised that I
was totally hopeless at this.
The reason there's been
such a long hiatus is because 'Disorientated Graduate' is something
that came about when I used to be able to walk to work, and I
wondered at what point in my university life it came about I was only
suited to work in an office on a farm in the arse end of nowhere. So
yelling in an overjoyed way 'LOOK! I HAVE A JOB I DON'T ACTUALLY
LOATHE!' was a little cruel to my readers, all three of you.
Yet the last fortnight
has proven to me that university has failed to get me used to just
about anything. I have stopped internally screaming on the Tube (at
one point, even emitting a faint squeak when I realised that yes, yet
more people really were going to join our train, let's talk about the
Circle line at some point in the future), but gosh, this is a new
world. I have no idea how to behave, not really.
One thing I have
learnt, though: big offices are <i>weird</i>. More anon.
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