Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Feeling slightly left behind (this time, avoiding libel!)

I had a very weird experience in work the other day. We have Radio 1 on in work, despite all being way too old for the demographic. (I want Radio 6, other staff want Radio 5, some losers want Magic, weirdly on that list Radio 1 is the middle ground. We all like Scott Mills.) Anyway, it chirps along in the background, excluding occasionally howling abuse at Fern Cotton. No one really listens to it, but it keeps the office from weird silence.

No, really, I'm going somewhere with this.

Anyway, the radio was chirping away, and I was vaguely aware of Fern Cotton and another female presenter talking cheerfully about a hot new boyband, and how the lead singer was the only one worth looking at. Christina, my desk buddy, suddenly gave a shriek.

“Disorientated Graduate! That bloke they're talking about! You went to school with him!”

[n.b. Christina went to a different high school, but in the same small town – the crossover of people known is fairly high.]

Anyway, I listened properly and gave out a small shriek myself. “OH MY GOD, I DID!”

He's the closest thing from my school year that constitutes a celebrity, obviously excluding my upcoming fame as a writer. He was on a popular talent show, albeit without getting through to the live shows or having too much TV time, and dated a famous female singer for quite a long time. Then they broke up, and an ex-colleague of mine, who lives opposite the chap in question's parents, informed me she broke up with him because he 'didn't earn enough money, and she wanted a man to earn more money than she did'. I am, as such, failing to name any of the people involved so I'm not sued for libel. (DISCLAIMER: I would also like to point in that I have no idea if the aforementioned story is true, and is probably just slightly malicious gossip. Amusing, though.)

Anyway, I did some googling and was highly amused to see that the chap in question is in fact the lead singer of an up and coming boyband of whom even I've heard of, although he's got a lot of fake tan and a bit of a perm involved.

Then I felt a bit depressed, and a little bit old as well. Or possibly that I'm getting left behind, a little bit, mostly because one of my dearest friends just had a baby and has now made a lovely little family. One of my fondest (and fuzziest) memories of aforementioned friend is in our first year at university when we got legless at a Rocky Horror themed night at the union, and I think we're still on the Union website in our underwear, convinced we look sexy. Now she's a mother, and a radiant one at that. And someone I still remember singing in the Year 3 Christmas play has a song on Radio 1.

I am aware that I'm pretty awesome, honestly. I'm doing well in my life, and at a party this weekend a group of us celebrated the genuine leaps ahead we've made in the last twelve months in our lives. One of the problems of being a graduate – and perhaps, simply being this age – is that occasionally I'm blown away by the achievements on my peers, and I feel a little behind. I know I'm not, and goodness knows I don't want to be a pop star or indeed a mother; still, it's a strange feeling.


  1. We did make leaps, didn't we? And yet I, too, feel somewhat left behind. You got married! Other people got married! More people are getting married! And I am hugely envious of the security and stability that represents, despite having a career job that I love, and a mortgage. *sigh*

  2. I am feeling sorry for myself today and am not getting out of bed until I have to go to my boring job in a cafe. I found out yesterday that I didn't get a job I really wanted, which was the first ever paid job in my field for which I was offered an interview. (I know there is probably much, much more of this to come, but I am fed up all the same!) I am feeling worried that it just won't work out for me. I am also feeling sad because I have made no new friends in a new city and am struggling to find new people for non-Skype human interaction. So I'm feeling pretty glum, though I usually feel quite good about myself and my prospects. I keep seeing people I know doing exciting, career-enhancing things in interesting places. I think I understand how you feel - being bothered by other people's achievements even though they are not what you want for yourself, and not totally understanding why it gets to you - I don't think of myself who compares myself to other like that but here I am! Anyway, your blog cheered me up :) It's good to know other people feel like this sometimes. (I went to a few Rocky Horror themed nights thinking I looked amazingly sexy too! I didn't. Still fun though!)